21 Best Ways On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work Especially No.12,15 &18
Many people believe that long distance relationships are never
going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends
may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes
many things achievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad
and lonely at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things
the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at
the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling
each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a
long distance relationship.
Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own
surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are the 21 tips to make
your long distance relationship work:
1. Avoid excessive communication.
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.” Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.2. See it as a opportunity.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to
live apart.” – Anonymous
View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a
test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not
afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship
is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the
both of you will be bound together even stronger.
As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,
“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close,
rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4
3.Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each
other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that
none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For
instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on
dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other
about all these things.
4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day —
this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its
happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send
each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting
in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
5. Talk dirty with each other
S`3x ual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important
things between couples. S3’x’ual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties
from drifting apart. Not only is s3’x a biological need, it is an emotional one
as well. Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled
with s3`x ual inn’uendos and provocative descriptions. S3`xy pu`ns work pretty
well too.
6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking
with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you
should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure
him/her. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is
only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset,
because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra
powerless/lacking in control.
Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you,
unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office
eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has
been fli’rting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into
the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.
7. Do things together.
Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on YouTube or
Vimeo at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the
guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go
online-shopping together — and buy each other gifts (See #13). You really have
to be creative and spontaneous about it.
8. Do similar things.
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each
other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more
topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared
experiences even though you are living apart.
9. Make visits to each other.
Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship.
After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each
other to fulfill all the little things like kis’sing, holding hands, etc. which
are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for
people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter
bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.
10. Have a goal in mind.
“What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long
are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you
two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance
relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.
So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down
the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is
important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that
even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you
are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes
one another.
11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.
You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel
like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you
still have you, your friends and your family. Take this time apart to do more
with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby.
Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t
involve your partner.
12. Stay honest with each other.
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy,
whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will
sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things
all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you
and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during
its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
13. Know each other’s schedules.
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when
he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time.
You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class
or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are
taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and
exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is
especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.
Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each
other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care.
Be cool about stalking each other.
15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.
There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a
keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach
meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether
knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical
things, in hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to
something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean
so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.
16. Get a good messaging app.
This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent
and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging
app on your phones that allow interactions beyond just words and emoticons.
Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it
highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny
“stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s
“Sticker Shop” to download extra stickers of different themes (e.g. Hello Kitty,
Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL and etc.) at a low price. From time to time, the app
also gives out free sticker sets for different promotions. This messaging app
is cute and easy to learn to use.
17. Snail-mail it!
Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send
each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on
birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each
other with cool T-shirts, s3`xy un`derw`ears and such.
18. Stay positive.
You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the
long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful
and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the
fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive
is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love —
someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the
hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful
for each other’s health and safety.
19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.
Because gossips and scandals are always the best things to go on
and on about.
20. Video-call whenever possible.
Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s
voices can make everything feel alright again.
21. Give each other pet names.
Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going.
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